United Workers Party (UWP) Senator Elisha Norbert believes that the way society raises boys and men could be one of the reasons behind acts of femicide.
Norbert shared his thoughts on gender-based violence in Saint Lucia after the killing of Joy St Omer.
When asked about violence against women by St Lucia Times, Norbert spoke about his Christian upbringing and teaching experience. He reflected on larger social issues that shape men’s behaviour.
Norbert said he learned values that teach people to care for and protect women.
“Being from a Christian background, I was brought up to know that we have to take care of women,” he stated. “The Bible teaches us to care for women like fine china.”
He also talked about how women often love, forgive, and show compassion. He believes these qualities are sometimes exploited in abusive relationships.
Norbert said it is painful to see women keep offering kindness and support even when they are being abused.
He said Saint Lucia needs a larger national conversation about how boys are raised and taught, especially regarding those who commit gender-based violence.
“Honestly, I believe society is raising weak men,” Norbert said. He explained that we need to pay more attention to helping boys develop emotionally and to handle disappointment.
As a former teacher, he said some boys are not being taught how to handle failure, setbacks, and emotional challenges in a healthy way.
“I see a lot of child-rearing practices where parents do not want coaches to shout after their children, even in a football match,” he said.
Norbert argued that experiences like losing competitions, facing disappointment, and managing emotions are important parts of growing up.
“These men, they don’t really get to experience failure. They don’t get to experience losing a football match and crying and being told, ‘Hey, it’s okay. In life, you cannot win all the time,’” he stated.
Norbert also said that failing to learn to control emotions can lead to harmful behaviour later on.
“We’ve lost a lot in the way we raise our men, and I think we’re reaping the rewards of that,” he said. “It’s detrimental to the stability of a man’s emotional regulation, and they lash out with their might and their strength and their rage that has never been controlled.”
THEY NEED TO START AT THE FAMILY COURT ITS WHERE BOYS GETS SEPARATED FROM THEIR FATHERS
While your article identifies some valid points. In relationships it is not a one size fits all. We also need to understand that several folk in St. Lucia (both male and female) are products of homes where abuse was manifested on a daily basis (verbal, physical, emotional etc.) – these issues created a generation of low self-esteem and lack of confidence abusers who continue the cycle from generation to generation. Children basically learn where they live – some folk were told they are just like their father who was also an abuser and they too continue in the same manner and that is a crying shame.
Also, in some instances where education was not a priority in the home – folk settled for anyone who came their way regardless of the severe consequences of these individuals being well known abusers because they were very needy emotionally and financially.
You see – choices have consequences and very often we place ourselves in situations which are extremely difficult to remove ourselves from. In addition, there is also the issue of mental health. I am not certain if the folk in St. Lucia realize that some of these behaviors have to do with serious mental health issues. While I make no excuse for bad behavior, clearly some folk needs to be evaluated, assessed, treated and medicated.
In addition, I also grew up in a Christian home where these values were instilled in me and thank God I continue in that same spirit – I believe that we all should be doing unto others as we would like them to do unto us.
However, please also understand that there are abusers in the church as well. There is no quick fix – however, we can learn to control our emotions by identifying the triggers and come up with the solution to regain control over our temper and emotions. And if needed, please make an appointment with a qualified therapist in order to deal with your issue(s).
Ultimately, we will all have to reap as we have sowed and karma knows everyone’s address. In the end, we will all reap as we have sowed and that is the reality.
Let me close by saying this – I visited St. Lucia many years ago and I went for a walk in the area up north. As I was walking towards the house – I literally heard a male voice yelling shut up shut up while he was literally hitting someone (a female). I literally stopped in my tracks – he then drove off still while hitting the female.
To the women – please find a job and go to work and take care for yourself. A pocket book, weave, nails and cell phone and fake eye lashes is certainly not worth abuse on any level. Also, if the individual is an abuser do not get involved as he will treat you no different. If someone wants to change they will look for the help in order to get themselves better. To the adulterers of which there are many – please stop before it’s too late.
I concur with most of what you spoke to, because I had to speak to my son, about him crying, when he was dropped from his team after he made them reached the finals. I told him is was not the end of the world for him, he’ll make a come back.
My issue with you is that; one should practice whatever, he preaches. Were you setting a good example for the young boys of, St. Lucia, when you refused to resigned your position as a teacher to contest the last general elections?
Who are the once raising those week men. The system is what started that nonsense. There should be no child support. Parents should have 50/50 custody of children. Hence making sure that they raised by both.
Fun fact .. women are more violent than men . But men use more forceful means.
If you don’t believe take a look at who beats children more in the home. Do a simple survey of the people around you. We need everyone male and female to be accountable for their actions. Get rid of child support you will see the difference. Women use children as pawns
You will not want a cricket coach to teach you football. Only a driver can teach you to drive.
Simply put women cannot teach boys to be men